A couple of other thoughts about the log “Marriage Game”:
In that log I posed the thought – of course not new – the foundation of a good marriage is that one realizes that he or she is there to serve the other.
You can understand that to mean that you need to deny yourself and who you are, and let the other walk over you.
But that is not what I mean. I mean something else – let me just come out with it:
The calling that I have is to “be God” for the other person.
When I look at my partner, especially when she is not meeting my (insatiable) needs, I think to myself: “If God were here now in my place, what would He do?”
I don’t know what it does for you, but every time I think that – and even now as I write it – I feel something.
Something that is bigger than myself.
Something that makes me joyful.
Something that gives me a reason to live and helps me know what I need to do next.
Something that frees me.
C.S. Lewis uses a somewhat shocking image to describe this (in his book The Four Loves). I paraphrase: If I may use a biological image, God is a “host” who has purposely created his own parasites; a host who calls us into life in order to “exploit” and “misuse” Him.
God loses nothing of His own person or being by giving Himself to us. Absolutely not.
In fact, He becomes even more praiseworthy.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is totally different than what our heart or our society says.
But I can give you the guarantee that if you begin to put this into practice you will become more and more like the Man we follow.
And you will shine!